Joy Unspeakable

Happy Solstice and welcome to High Summer, readers. My favorite time of the year!

I notice I don’t write much here anymore. It has never been my practice to post regularly. But it seems that the horrors of our time take every ounce of focus and energy in my body and soul—trying to stay in the present moment. Words fail me. I breathe instead. I walk. I do my prayer and my yoga. I try to stay in relationship and connection to “the real”—people, places, creatures, nature, singing, daily things, good work—rather than words, words, words. I touch a tree. I talk with a friend. I watch how my octogenarian parents face another day in their aging bodies. I stand in the streets to speak out against the growing authoritarian, oligarchical powers of my country.

And since I am a purveyor of words as a writer, it feels odd to confess that words are not my go to at the moment. Words have always helped me make sense of my emotional world, connected me to my inner landscape, a rich treasure trove of images, thoughts and the delights of imagination.

Yet, the images of dying empires around the world throwing more media circuses, more wars, more terror at the people and earth, leave me speechless and often inconsolable with grief. I so love the created world. But not so much the world of men, fundamentalism, money, cultural wars and the political powers of hate, violence and domination.

And into the moment comes the Daily Meditations from The Center for Action & Contemplation. A week of readings on joy and resilience.

Joy unspeakable erupts

when you least expect it.

When the burden is greatest

when the hope is gone

after bullets fly

it rises.

On the crest of impossibility

it sways to the rhythm

of steadfast hearts

and celebrates

what we cannot see.”

(Barbara Holmes, Joy Unspeakable: Contemplative Practices of the Black Church, 2nd ed. (Fortress Press, 2017), 199–200. 

Dr. Holmes goes on to say ” Finding your joy may also require that you dismantle the false construct that your life is about you. Now, it’s not our fault that we believe that the journey is all about us. From the moment we’re born, all eyes are on us. Attention is necessary to make certain that we’re breathing, that we have a safe passage through the womb, and adoring parents who continue that focus or not. Somehow, we begin to believe that everything is about our comfort, our future, our well-being, our pain. As I’m entering the latter phase of my life, I’m finally beginning to realize that the scaffolding of self that was erected from birth was a necessary but temporary support. It was a place I could hang my dreams and my visions, but it was never meant to be permanent. It’s only by faith and by our journey through a few dark nights of the soul do we relinquish the overwhelming chatter of ego, a feat that is all struggle and many setbacks. ” (https://cac.org/daily-meditations/joy-an-embodied-presence/)

I wrestle with this every day. The late great Barbara Holmes reminds me and all of us of the fleetingness of our lives. She is a true beacon of light, an ordinary saint sent to our time, to call us to faith. Her writings about the Black struggle in this country has taught me volumes for how to show up in faith and with my feet in times of brutal reality.

Another iconic witness from the Cloud, who also knows the power of joy in suffering is Howard Thurman. He writes, There are some who are dependent upon the mood of others for their happiness. There are some whose joy is dependent upon the circumstances. There are some who must win their joy against high odds, squeeze it out of the arid ground of their living or wrest it from the stubborn sadness of circumstances. There are still others who find their joy deep in the heart of their religious experience. It is not related to, or dependent upon, derived from any circumstances or conditions in the midst of which they must live. It is a joy independent of all vicissitudes. There is a strange quality of awe in their joy, that is but a reflection of the deep calm water of the Spirit out of which it comes…this is the joy the world cannot give….that keeps watch against all the emissaries of sadness of mind and weariness of soul…even as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death”

Each day, I have a choice. To lean into my faith and my soul tending practices, or give myself over to despair and the Death Machine of the powers that be. It seems that the Apostle Paul knew them well in the 1st century as he moved about amongst the Roman Empire. Death, torture, terror, complacency, acquisitiveness, hedonism, denial, division—all plagued humankind in his age. Not so different from our age. The veneer of military might, disproportionate wealth and greed that has become the central feature of empires like the United States is being ripped away daily for ordinary citizens in this country. Many are beginning to see clearly. This veneer stays in place when we are willing pawns for the wealth and power of a few. But the people are rising up. More and more are recognizing what is required for this agreement. The prophetic voice of Martin Luther King Jr. thunders down through the ages again, reminding us of the three evils of racism, poverty and war. It keeps all of us bound up.

Nothing much has changed. Only the need for us to awaken and become the change we wish to see in the world. We are called to become in ourselves “joy unspeakable” even as we speak and act in small and large ways to meet the challenges of our day.

And Dr. Barbara Holmes reminds us, “This joy is our strength and we need strength because we are well into the 21st century and we are not healed. How shall we negotiate post modernity without inner strength?“

Find your strength and your joy, Friends. Live there. A little secret —sometimes this is in the most vulnerable places of our lives and connections with our beloveds. Peace be with you.